ROL Bus: Bye bye blondes

So this week, the girls and aging rock star go to Champaign, Illinois, which immediately gets points with me for obvious reasons. They go to a hockey rink, and seeing the girls with implants teeter and slide is hilarious.

The objective in this competition is to protect a doll from incurring head trauma on the ice. The University of Illinois women's hockey team comes out as their opponents, as does Lacey, who was on the original Rock of Love and is doing a guest spot as the token villain. More hilarity ensues as the girls try to skate, and former pornstar enlightens us on how she could have been an Olympic ice skater if not for the irresistable lure of XXX. I swear, I am NOT making this up.

The girls pick teams, and the ringers generally stomp the girls who don't know what they're doing while the girls who can skate a bit do alright. The pink team, consisting of a brunette who faked not being able to skate, former pornstar, the blonde who wants to go home, and the former (tasteful) model, ends up winning. While they go on a date with Bret at a strip club, the pink bus girls search former pornstar's bed and find a bunch of fun stuff, including used socks from hockey. Super.

Former pornstar gives a hilarious hypocritical rant about how she actually empowered women, while cover footage shows her getting to second base with one of the strippers in the club. They actually mention her pornstar name, which brings back flashbacks of them not mentioning a girl from last season was on Beauty and the Geek until the show where she was eliminated. A catfight ensues about the socks, and former pornstar sleeps on a bus.

Now for the highlight of the show. Blonde who wants to go home gets a phone call from home, and she badmouths Bret and the girls. Fellow members of the Blontourage stab her in the back, reporting it to Bret and throwing it back in her face. This doesn't look good, and her lying to Bret about this and unleashing her inner former pornstar with an emotional display doesn't help.

Next up are eliminations. Blonde who wants to leave gets booted with an unceremonious "Get the f*** out of here," and we come down to fake-skating brunette and former pornstar. And the loser is...former pornstar. Rats. And no emotional breakdowns before this, too, but the show is saved by a "Psycho" overture as she looks on, unmoved. We're down to ten, and it'll be interesting to see who picks up the "unintentional comedy" slack.